Sexual Morality and Marriage
by Mihran Kulhanjian
God created the act of sex. It was created between one man and one woman in marriage only. Fornication, adultery, bisexuality, and homosexuality, are all outside of God’s design for man and woman and the use of sex is a sin against the body (the temple of the Holy Spirit [1 Corinthians 6:19]) and a sin against God’s commands and purpose of sex.
Fornication is sex, any sex outside of God’s plan of marriage between one man and one woman in marriage. Premarital sex is fornication and those who practice fornication will not inherit the kingdom of God [1 Corinthians 6:9], one repents and believes on Jesus.
God created woman for man only and man for woman only in marriage. God created one man and one woman, in marriage, one union for companionship and procreation. Any form of sex outside this blessed union of marriage is against God’s plan. Marriage is a covenant between man, woman and God.
A husband is commanded to love his wife and provide for her and his family. A wife is commanded to respect her husband and care for her family. His body shall be hers and her body shall be his. A husband’s body is given to his wife out of love and a wife’s body is given to her husband out of love. God created sex between husband and wife only, to be pleasurable and for procreation. Sex used in any other way is against God’s will and is sinful and disobedient to God.
Harlots [Whores] and Whoremongers
Talking and writing about sex is always a delicate subject. Each of us has our own, personal experiences and thoughts on the subject. But, let's see what the Word of God says about sex, particularly sex before marriage.
Any woman who has sex before marriage is called a harlot [whore]. A whore isn’t only a prostitute it is any woman who has sex prior to marriage and if she has sex with another, not her husband, she is considered a whore and an adulterer. We know that the Bible tells us those women who engage is such activity will not inherit the kingdom of God [1 Corinthians 6:9] unless they repent and ask for God’s forgiveness. Fornicators and adulterers are not welcomed into God’s kingdom. Heaven is for the holy, the righteous. If they do not get into God’s kingdom, there is only one other place they go. That’s right. Man will be in hell.
Premarital sex has become a common epidemic and more women and young teens are rightfully labeled whores today because they do not know God, giving themselves over to their lust, willfully abusing themselves with unclean, and in many cases, unnatural acts against God’s plan for sex. Many professing Christians are deceiving themselves by having sexual relations before legal marriage under God. If they knew God, with fear, respect and love, and read their Bible, the Word of God, they would not willfully give themselves to unnatural and ungodly acts [Romans 1:18-32]. Sadly, alcohol is involved in many situations and inhibitions are lifted and the devil and his demons have moved in. Sex is not love. Sex outside of marriage is a selfish, lustful and prideful act. A boy has sex with his girlfriend because he wants it. A girl has sex with her boyfriend because she wants it. Love is not involved in the act of sex no matter what they may tell each other. “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? [Jeremiah 17:9]. Sex, in itself is a selfish act. He gets what he wants and she gets what she wants, whether it is immediate gratification for something else [money, false companionship, security, etc.].
Fornicators are deceiving themselves and continue to deceive each other until God enters into their lives and they are truly born again with the Spirit of God and realizing the errors of their youth or of their ungodly behavior. Truth is revealed only through God. Lust is of the fresh not of the spirit. The lust of the eyes and the pride of life take over to the fornicator. And only sinful things come from the flesh. A man or a woman may say to the other, “I love you.”They love the fact that the other person lets them do the things they did to them. Sex outside of marriage is a completely selfish and self-centered, prideful act and it is a sin against a holy God because there is no spiritual union of oneness under God as there is when a man and woman are equally yoked in marriage according to God’s plan for sex, within the blessing of marriage only. Marriage is a relationship of three: man, woman and God. With God, it is a healthy relationship.
There is a difference in being tempted and succumbing to those temptations. Jesus was tempted but He did not fall into the temptation. We know that God does not lead us into temptation. The sixth petition from the Lord’s Prayer [Matthew 6:9-13] tells us this “Lead us not into temptation.” The devil leads us into temptation and into sexual immorality against God’s plan of marriage of one man and one woman forever as one. In marriage they become one. Can we control ourselves? Yes. Do we? No. Why? We have no genuine knowledge or love for God or His Word. Jesus said if you love me you will keep my commandments [John 14:15]. We must be pure, cleansed by the Spirit, sanctified and justified through Jesus if we want to have fellowship with God and please Him. God is holy and cannot associate with sin.
The labeling of oneself as a whore does not paint a pure or pretty picture of a young woman who sleeps with her boyfriend in our society today; but she is a whore nonetheless, and is rightly called one. For she has given up the most personal parts of herself to gain something. Whether the gain is to satisfy sexual lust, lust for companionship, security, power, or financial reasons, or any other reasons does not matter. God’s holiness does not change. His holiness is the same 2,000 years ago as it is today. His holiness is the same since the creation of the world and before. God is the same yesterday, today and forever [Hebrews 13:8]. Jesus chastened the Samaritan woman at the well for living with a man she was not married to [John 4:16-18]. He revealed God’s truth to her and she was rightfully convicted of her immorality.
Because modern society defines a prostitute as a whore, the true definition of a whore is a woman who has been with a man prior to marriage or outside of her marriage, whether many times or one time, multiple partners or one partner, and whether she gets paid for what she does or not. She has sinned against God and her own body, the temple of the Holy Spirit. She has used her body, a body created by God in a way that is contrary to God’s purpose for it. We are spirit, soul and body. When the spirit in allied to the soul and our body with both, sin in our lives is passed through. Now this may be uneasy to hear, but let us call sin for what it is. Sin, all sin, including sexual sin, is filth; it is unclean and a whore is unclean in God’s eyes, the same as a thief, a liar, a blasphemer, and an idolater.This is why we must know God and His Word so that we know the moral law and that we do not succumb to sexual, immoral temptations. But, we can be washed, cleansed from our filth, sanctified and justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ [1 Corinthians 6:9-11] and inherit the kingdom of God. The first step is to realize, confront your sin, confess to God and repent of your sin. Stop sinning. Become devoted to God, purify yourself and put the whole armor of Jesus Christ on you [Ephesians 6:11]. Believe in Him [Jesus] who has washed away your sin and accepted the punishment for you.
“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand’ [Ephesians 6:11-13].
Love Him. Keep His commandments. Become born again, baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit [Matthew 28:19]. Become a new creature in Christ and live holy—live a godly life according to God’s plan for you and you will realize the wonderful promises God has for you. It is not about your plans and God yielding to you. When you become a follower of Christ, you keep His commandments. You are now a son or daughter of God. He is your Father. There is no greater honor than this. Please your Father in Heaven by doing the things He approves and flee from all sin and the temptations of sin. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. God has given you the power to resist the devil. So do it! And live for God and not for yourself. Put your head into the Bible and His Word daily and you will see a remarkable change in yourself. The saying goes: Love what God loves and hate what God hates. God hates sin. It’s easy to remember isn’t it? Obey Him, for you know what is right and you know what it wrong. Keep your eyes straight on God because God is watching; His eyes are in every place.
A whoremonger [a term used throughout the Bible] is a man who engages in sex before marriage. An adulterer is also a whoremonger. A fornicator will not inherit the kingdom of God [1 Corinthians 6:9]. “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” [Hebrew 13:4].“For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God” [Ephesians 5:5].
Young men, do not live for the flesh, it will only get you into trouble and cause you great harm physically and mentally. There are many warnings throughout the Proverbs about sexual immorality. Please run from the fleshly world and build up your godliness in marriage. Temptations are all around you. This is why we must focus our attention on Christ when temptation is strong. Praying to God when temptation enters is the way to have temptation flee. God is stronger than the devil and He is stronger than any temptation. God gives to us the power and authority in Jesus' name to not fall into temptations. Sexual temptation [lust] is probably the strongest temptation to resist. This is why we call Jesus. When the devil comes knocking at the door, let Jesus answer it.
Pornography
In Matthew 5:28 we are told by Jesus “ But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” We are commanded by Jesus to not look upon a woman with lust in our hearts. Watching pornography on the internet and in any other media is a sin, and more often than not leads you directly into temptation and sin.
There are many long term harmful consequences to prolonged viewing of pornography and particularly internet pornography which is easily accessible and dangerous. Many studies have been done on this. Memories of debased sexual acts and fantasies, which are destructive to the viewer’s current relationship or future marriage if single, could have long-term damaging effects and usually does. Woman and men are both dehumanized in pornographic material. We are made in the image of God, man and woman. Pornography destroys what God created man and woman to be. Only man and woman were created in God’s image and in His likeness. We are valued my God because He made us in His image not as perverse creatures as pornography portrays. We have a spirit, soul and body.
Pornography is of the devil and those involved in it are all the children of their father the devil. Please, young people do not be deceived. Keep clear of these impure things endorsed by Satan. There are no beneficial reasons to watching, reading or viewing pornographic material. It is neither healthful nor helpful in anyway. God did not create pornography; it is the work of the devil to destroy and kill and to perverse your mind my enslaving you more and more to this evil until you are completely enslaved. And pornography destroys and kills the body [the temple of the Holy Spirit] and more importantly the soul. The unclean images planted in your mind can stay with you throughout your lifetime.
If you watch pornography you must stop immediately. Pray to God for forgiveness and pray to purge the memory in your mind of unclean images. Focus your thoughts through prayer on Jesus and holy things that please God. Always have a Bible near you. Read the Bible to stifle sinful temptations and lusts. Focus of Jesus and what He did for you on the cross: He shed His blood. He died. He was buried in a tomb. And three days later He rose from the dead and is now in Heaven were He rules. The gospel [good news] message is this: He died so that we might live.
Pornography is highly addictive so take all measures to steer far from it. Turn to prayer when the temptation is strong. Lean on Jesus. No matter where you are, begin praying that the temptation is purged from your thoughts. God will not lead you into temptation, so run from that which is evil and the devil will flee.
When you are alone and you are tempted to do something wicked, go outside and do something constructive: exercise, go to the supermarket, wash your car, get your mind off sinful temptations by thinking of heavenly things of above. It is not God’s plan that sex be with yourself; sex is within the realms of biblical marriage. In
This is a personal battle. But remember that God is with you always; His eyes are open to your secret life and He knows your thought life; so turn to Him because we are incapable of saving ourselves and only by His grace are we saved, saved from falling into temptation and saved for eternal life. With our cooperation, we have free will to stop doing that which is unseemly and wicked, and we avoid those things which are not pleasing to God.
Diseases
All who practice fornication set themselves up for social diseases that are painful, physically and mentally, and can be life threatening. These diseases are more prevalent now than ever before. Sexually transmitted diseases have become the hidden epidemic which no one wants to talk about. Don’t be fooled by classmates or educators, or godless healthcare professionals. Live for Jesus. Live to please the Lord and the Father. Only abstinence insures safety from these horrible diseases. Listen to God. Obey what He says. Do not think that you have a special immunity because you are young. It is dangerous, so listen to God and abstain. When God says don’t do it, you don’t do it! Flee from all sin—remove yourself from the temptations of sin and be careful of your friends and close relations who are among the godless, for they will steer you in the wrong direction. Satan is a trickster and his deceptions are vast. Satan is marked at the greatest liar and was a murderer from the very beginning. Do not be deceived, run from all appearances of evil and take up the Word of God to fight the devil. God will not abandon you. He is faithful and He loves you and wants the best for you.
Pregnancy
Fornication can also lead to an unwanted pregnancy. A mother who does not want a baby must never abort a baby. This is murder in the eyes of God. God is for the preservation of life. The Bible is clear about this. A baby must be loved and cared for as a precious gift from God. The mother must care for the child or make arrangements for adoption; but never to abort, never to harm, never. One day you will face Jesus and as you appear in front of Him you do not want to be known as a baby murderer because of your selfishness, perceived shame from the world [if there is any], conceit and consumed by the pride of life. To abort a baby is a selfish, murderous act. God created life, and no mother is one to take life in which God created. Do not kill the innocent because of the sins of the mother and father. Love God and love your baby. God hates all who take the life of the innocent. A baby is innocent.
Unequally Yoked
What does unequally yoked mean? It means do not marry outside your faith. The Bible tells us that believers should marry believers. Only difficulty and divorce follow with unequally yoked marriages. You cannot bet on trying to change someone after you are married. A true believer should not waste time or energy dating anyone but a true Christian, a true, born again believer. Follow what God says and you will never regret it. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” [2 Corinthians 6:14].
Modestly Dressed
A woman must dress modestly; this goes for men as well. God does not want women or men to parade around in sexually provocative clothing or lack of clothing, where attention is being drawn to physical features. It is ungodly to show oneself off in this manner. Paul explains this in 1 Timothy 2:9:
“…women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness [respectable, proper] and sobriety [sober mindedness]; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.”
Young ladies cover yourselves. Also, do not wear tight clothing that shows your sexuality accentuating physical features and certain attributes. Who are you trying to impress? Do you want to be a spectacle? It is not godly. And that which is not godly, offends God, yet it delights the devil. You are worth more than lascivious sneers or others lustful thoughts. This includes wearing yoga pants in the supermarket or going to the bank, or attending school classes. Low cut or tight tops, and shorts that are too short to be called godly—you get the idea. Why would you want to show yourself this way? You are not simply flesh. A soul and a spirit dwell in you. God gave Adam and Eve animal skins to cover up when they were removed from the Garden of Eden. It is shameful to show yourself to the public this way. Do not bow down to the fleshly world, but walk in the Spirit of God. Cherish your body; it is the temple for your soul. God created your body to be special, to be treated with holiness, with dignity and respect.
Young wives show yourself to your husband only and husbands show yourself to your wife only. Our body is a special gift from God. Share it with your beloved spouse in biblical marriage only as God directs. Treasure your body. Why would you give it freely to strangers? God gave you a body to be treasured by your biblical spouse. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Protect it.
“Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.”
Sexual Abuse
Recent statistics show that 1 in 6 females ages 12 and up have been raped, and 1 in 3 girls have been sexually abused before the age of 18 and 1 in 5 boys [The Advocacy Center]. We live in a perverse society. If you have been sexually abused, lean on God, and on the love of Jesus. It might be hard, but you must forgive the abuser. Remember what Jesus said when He was dying on the cross. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” [Luke 23:34]. You must forgive. Put all of your hope, trust, and love on Jesus. He will never leave you or forsake you and He will always carry you through with tender arms through all your pain and suffering. Put your faith in Him who died for you. Your abuser will be punished by God. And God is the righteous judge.
Summing Up Sexual Morality
Unmarried men and women must abstain from sexual relations. Flee from sexual immorality. God is very clear about what is good for you and what is not good for you. Listen to Him—obey Him and do not fall into sexual temptation; the devil wants you to disregard God and wants you to follow through with your emotions and feelings. Do not fall for Satan’s evil lie that it is harmless; it is not. Get your mind on God and He will delivery you out of sexual sin and He will not lead you into temptation. Set your mind of things above. Start with prayer to God and to Jesus Christ.
Wait until marriage and give yourself to your spouse in biblical marriage. Treasure each other, love one another and be helpful. Marriage between one man and one woman is a godly union and must be cherished as one. There is no other marriage endorsed by God. Faithful marriage of one man and one woman is a blessed and sanctimonious relationship and it is what we should all strive for when we are called to marry.
Live by God’s will and you will be rewarded. Do the things He says to do and stay clear of the things He warns you about, and you will prosper as He promises.
One last thing: God does not recognize same sex marriage. In fact, same sex marriage is an abomination to God. It is sinful.
Marriage According to God
Marriage according to God is a covenant between one man and one woman. A covenant is a contract, an agreement. This is based on a relationship. This covenant is serious to God. The covenant is between one man, one woman and God [Genesis 2:24, Matt. 19:5, Prov. 2:17].
Marriage Not According to God’s Plan
In the last several years we have seen homosexual marriage rising to all-time levels as well as homosexual behavior in general. Why is this? The answer is in God’s word: human society is wicked and wasting way; and in the end times sin in all forms becomes prevalent and normalized in society and even among professing Christians who have not matured in the faith. The catalyst to this debauchery of same sex marriage in the United States was from a Supreme Court ruling in 2015. No wonder we are not “one nation under God” anymore. God has left us because we have left God. We have become a godless nation and now we will pay the due penalty of it.
The following is the reprint of an article noting the percentages of people, Christians included, supporting homosexual marriage. By the way, any Christian supporting gay marriage or homosexuality is not a Christian; they are a fraud. Professing Christians cannot support sin, any sin.
LGBTQ Rights
Of Marriage and Divorce
The Bible is clear on marriage. And God is very much interested in marriage of one man and one woman. He created Eve for Adam to be his helper and companion and to populate the world. The Confession of Faith [The Westminster Confession], Chapter 24 breaks down God’s plan for marriage with scripture proofs.
- Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband at the same time [Genesis 2:24, Matt. 19:5, Prov. 2:17].
- Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife; for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the church with an holy seed; and for preventing of uncleanness [Gen. 2:18, Mal. 2:15, 1 Cor. 7:2].
- It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry who are able with judgment to give their consent. Yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord. And, therefore, such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters: neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are notoriously wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresies [Heb. 13:4, 1 Tim. 4:3, 1 Cor. 7:36, Gen. 24:57, 1 Cor. 7:39, Gen. 34:14, Exod. 34:16, Deut. 7:3, 1 Kings 11:4, Neh. 13:25, Mal. 2:11, 2 Cor. 6:14].
- Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden in the Word; nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful by any law of man, or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together, as man and wife [Lev. 18, 1 Cor. 5:1, Amos 2:7, Mark 6:18, Lev. 18:24, Lev. 20:19].
- Adultery or fornication, committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce, and after the divorce to marry another, as if the offending party were dead [Matt. 1:18, Matt. 5:31, Matt. 19:9].
- Although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments, unduly to put asunder those whom God hath joined together in marriage; yet nothing but adultery, or such willful desertion as can no way be remedied by the church or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage; wherein a public and orderly course of proceeding is to be observed; and the persons concerned in it, not left to their own wills and discretion in their own case [Matt. 19:8, 1 Cor. 7:15, Matt. 19:6, Deut. 24:1].
Biblical Marriage
There are over twenty marriages noted in the Bible and none of these marriages are with the same sex. God’s plan does not include homosexual marriage because homosexual marriage is unnatural; it is an abomination to God. God was pleased with many of the marriages mentioned in the Bible with a few exceptions.
Here is a rundown on marriages in the Bible:
- Adam to Eve [Gen. 2:18-25]
- Lamech to Adah and Zillah [Gen. 4:19]
- Isaac to Rebekah [Gen 24:63-67]
- Esau to Judith and Basemath [Gen. 26:34-35]
- Abraham to Keturah [Gen.25:1]
- Jacob to Leah and Rachel [Gen. 29:18-30]
- Joseph to Asenath [Gen. 41:45]
- Moses to Zipporah [Exodus 2:21]
- Samson to a Philistine girl [Judges 14:1-20]
- Boaz to Ruth [Ruth 4:13]
- David to Michal [1 Samuel 18:27]
- David to Abigail [1 Samuel 25:39]
- David to Bathsheba [1 Samuel 11:27]
- Solomon to Pharaoh’s daughter [1 Kings 3:1]
- Ahab to Jezebel [1 Kings 16:31]
- Xerxes to Esther [Esther 2:17]
- Hosea to Gomer [Hosea 1:2-3]
- Joseph to Mary [Matthew 1:24]
- Herod to Herodias [Matthew 14:3-4]
- The marriage of a man and woman from Cana [John 2:1-12]
The last and greatest marriage to happen is in prophecy. It is called the marriage of the Lamb. All the church, all true believers will marry the Lord as described in Revelation 19:7-9: We are the Shulemite bride, the bride of Christ illustrated in the Song of Songs. Christ is the bridegroom and all true believers will come together with Him and we will be united with Him who has saved us and given us life eternal with Him in Heaven.